relationships

I work with individuals experiencing issues in their romantic relationships. I work with individuals in monogamous and polyamorous relationships, heterosexual, and same-sex. I take an approach encompassing the reality that people show love and experience love differently. I focus on attachment, developmental and relational trauma, the window of tolerance, and the process of individuation and differentiation.

As humans we desire autonomy and the space to become our true authentic selves (individuation), but we also desire connection in relationships. The balancing act between the two is what is referred to as differentiation. Often, this balancing act is heavily weighed on one end of the scale, autonomy or the relationship.

Also, first developed in infancy, we each have a particular attachment style (i.e., secure, preoccupied, avoidant, disorganized) that evolves with us into our adult relationships. Our attachment style may look different with different people, and it can also evolve.

Sexual Betrayal & Therapeutic Disclosure

It’s not uncommon for sexual betrayal to occur in romantic relationships when one, and/or both, partners are in active sexual addiction. The infidelity may occur when a partner cheats with other people sexually and/or emotionally in person, or via digital media sexually and/or emotionally.

In order to heal from this betrayal, many partners request a therapeutic disclosure. Using a model developed by Dr. Stephanie Carnes with the International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals, as well as aspects of a full disclosure model by Dan Drake and Janice Caudill, I facilitate therapeutic disclosures after sexual betrayal with couples. Typically, therapeutic disclosures require three therapists - one for the partner who participated in the betrayal, one for the betrayed partner, and a couples therapist.

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