When we have a loved one with addiction, substance, behavioural, or both, we benefit from support too. Whether we’re a parent, sibling, grandparent, child, partner, or friend of the individual with addiction, we play a role in relationship with them, and these roles often begin to occur very early in our development, but not always. This is not to say we are the cause of the addiction though. We’re also each uniquely affected by our loved one’s addiction. Our family system is full of different dynamics, and this system experiences various shifts, influenced by the positive or negative actions of each of the members within the system.

With family members, I do a lot of trauma work, inner child work, boundary work, and developing a holistic self-care model.

It’s not uncommon for sexual betrayal to occur in romantic relationships when one, and/or both, partners are in active sexual addiction. The infidelity may occur when a partner cheats with other people sexually and/or emotionally in person, or via digital media sexually and/or emotionally.

What is betrayal trauma?

• Sexual betrayal, or infidelity, in relationships is traumatic. However, sexual betrayal is differs from infidelity because:

  • There’s an explanation (not a justification) for the betrayal

  • Typically more incidences of betrayal and a variety of sexually acting out behaviours

  • May include more acute scenarios with more extreme consequences

What are signs of betrayal trauma?

• Emotional instability, hypervigilance, intrusive thinking, nightmares, cognitive problems, damaged self-esteem, shame, preoccupation, health problems, + an impact on sexuality.

What is a full therapeutic disclosure?

• In order to heal from sexual betrayal, many partners request a therapeutic disclosure. Using a model developed by Dr. Stephanie Carnes with the International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals, as well as aspects of a Full Disclosure model by Dan Drake and Janice Caudill, I facilitate therapeutic disclosures after sexual betrayal with couples. Typically, therapeutic disclosures require three therapists - one for the partner who participated in the betrayal, one for the betrayed partner, and a couples therapist.